America’s Next Bill Clinton!


Feminism and sex.
August 30, 2007, 7:56 pm
Filed under: equality, erotica, feminist, love, rape, relationships, sex, sexuality

A feminist friend and I had a conversation a few days ago, and the conversation of feminism and sex came up …and the conversation was pretty interesting, as we’re both aware of each other’s penchant for certain sexual practices, and I’d like to get some of your opinions on sex and feminists.As feminists, we stand for equality, justice, and all those things, to include non-oppression.

But as humans, we’re sexual beings and our degrees of sexual practices vary.

Said friend confided in me that while she is against sexual crimes and works at a women’s shelter, she sometimes still gets turned on by fantasies of force and such, especially hearing stories from these women.

While I cannot relate to that, personally, for me, as a feminist, it’s a struggle because on one hand, I am still a red-blooded American male, and on the other hand …I’ve got some adventurous practices and preferences when it comes to intimate relationships (sex and love are different agencies, by the way).

In a recent feminist thought class, the point was made that we are primates and animals when it comes to sex, thus having various thoughts and fantasies and acting them out in consensual fantasies is acceptable.

But then the argument was also made that we have to draw the line somewhere, because there is a slippery slope.

My feeling on that is a confusing one: the personal is political, thus what we do in the bedroom extends to how we treat people in the world. But at the same time, we’re also smart enough people to separate sex from politics and equality, so long as the sex is consensual.

One can still separate one’s sexual fantasies and practices and bed room habits, no matter how “adventurous” from being a feminist, one girl I met argues; I think otherwise. But I also think that we shouldn’t be hypocrites. At the same time, we shouldn’t deny ourselves of what pleasures us, if it’s consensual and a mutual understanding between two people who understand what they’re doing is just “in their head” and confined to their private lives.

Thoughts?????



Male privilege check-list.

I tend to save the more lighthearted posts for Fridays, but given the recent developments of the blog, and because I’ve not had any Red Bull and have spent the last few nights thinking about the whole love thing instead of sleeping, I am feeling a little slow. So here’s just a post that lists male privileges. I am sure you can come up with more than I can, as I am privileged, and often don’t see these. These privileges can be both physical and social perceptions.

 1) Career wise, I can do almost anything I want, without having to fear that I can’t make it because of my gender.

2) When I do have children, I can still continue with my career, and won’t seem like a “bad dad.”

3) No one would ever use my gender as a way of insulting someone, as in “You throw like a girl” or “don’t be such a pussy.”

4) I can almost always walk down the street at night without fear of being attacked.

5) I can go to a bar and drink to my heart’s content, without having to fear I might get sexually assaulted.

6) I almost never have to worry about being sexually harrassed by my boss.

7) My ability to do a certain job will never come into question because of my gender

8) My gender will never be an issue when I run for political office

9) I can marry someone based on looks like it will actually empower me more.

10) There are no laws made pertaining to MY body.

11) I can go out in public wearing almost anything without being harrassed or judged.

12) If I so happen to meet someone at a party, and decide to have sex, I would be viewed as being “the man,” whereas it doesn’t apply for women. They’re seen as sluts.

13) My sexual/dating history is not the discussion of the town

14) I can pee standing up!

15) I don’t have to worry as much about pregnancy when it comes to sex

16) I am less likely to get an STD than a woman would, because of how our sex organs are built

17) I can date more than one woman at the same time, and society would not look down upon me for it.

18) As a child, no matter what I wanted to do, I had some sort of a role-model with whom I could identify

19) I am judged more for my actions, rather than what I wear and how I look.

20) No childbirth!

21) I am guarantee to orgasm each and every time I have sex

22) No pharmacist can claim the right to deny me any medicines I ask for at a drug store

23) Even when I am acting within my gender role, I am GAINING from it, rather than being oppressed.

24) If I go to church, I can attend knowing that I’ll hear someone of my gender speaking about a god of my gender.

25) I don’t have to live up to expectations of how thin I am supposed to be.

26) No monthly menstrual cycles!

Anything else you’d want to add? I am running out of things. But I am sure you can think of more.



A feminist in love?
August 28, 2007, 4:41 pm
Filed under: love

This post was somehow deleted when I was messing with it. Freaking great.



Republicans: for the love of blowjobs

bathroom_stall.jpgOkay, first of all, is “blow job” one or two words? I’ve seen both versions. Can I get an English major to help me out here?

And secondly, add Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) to the long list of Republican politicians who have gone down – and almost literally, for sexual misconducts. According to CNN reports, Craig was arrested early June (and this has now just came out, but don’t expect Craig to do the same anytime soon) at a Minneapolis Airport for attempt of lewd act in the airport’s bathroom. Story is here: http://idahostatesman.com/eyepiece/story/143517.html

Does anyone want to tell me what’s going on here? Craig is the third Republican this summer to have been arrested for sexual misconduct in public places. Worst yet, all three of these politicians (and don’t forget David Vitter of Louisinana who was named in the DC Madam case, too) were involved in SAME SEX acts.

All three have track records of speaking out, and quite passionately, against homosexuality or even sexuality in general. I guess if you spend your entire life fighting against something, it kind of “grows” on you, or you “grow” on the idea, and the next thing you know, you’re doing it.

But being a Republican politician, you don’t want to use your privilege for sex, as you are very moral, so you try to solicit sex in public bathrooms, or go down on an unsuspecting guest sleeping at your house, instead, as national Young Republican Chair Glenn Murphy (http://www.news-tribune.net/breakingnews/local_story_219210228.html) did this summer. So, we’ve got David Vitter who visited a prostitute. Bob Allen who offered a cop money to give the cop a blow job, Larry Craig who made a pass in a public bathroom at a police officer who was undercover (and apparently on the toilet) and Murphy, who decided that the best part of waking up, for a Republican, is with a cock in your mouth.

So focused on blowjobs, these Republicans are failing to do their jobs, and that’s not a good thing – at least for Republicans anyway. Is it It seems Republicans are either on vacation at their ranch or in the bathroom or some other shady places looking for a quick BJ. True?

I can’t help but laugh about it, but at the same time, it makes me wonder about people who are so “moral” and “ethical” about sexual issues, yet are so …depraved (and deprived) for sex. But, hey, political capital is political capital. As a Democrat, I’d take it however I can. How about the Republican Party start a social network just for gay Republican politicians. It’ll be as sort of a facebook type thing. If one Republican felt a need for let off a little steam (and we all do now and then), he can just log on to GOP (Gay Officials and Politicians) and “poke” another Republican he has his eyes and possibly mouth on.

If the guy feels the same way, he pokes back, and they can meet in some Congressional bathroom, specially designated for Republicans, and do all the poking their long-neglected little Republican bodies desire. That would help with a lot of the problems they’re facing. Besides, blowjobs are greatly appreciated and all, but would you want to get one from a bathroom looking like this? Ewww!

In fact, I think Ted Haggard can be their chairman.And you know what, if push comes to shove, they could always go to a private prostitute-for-hire. I here some guy named Roberto is out of a job.Thoughts?



Feminism and violence MUST go hand-in-hand

Although I understand that from the many perspectives and schools of thoughts for feminism, violence is often never the answer, I still assert that feminism and violence can indeed go hand-in-hand and we can use violence in a positive way to affect feminism.
 

This, of course, isn’t a very political ideal. It’s more of a social ideal, one in which we must fight fire with fire and hate with hate. 

Consider this: sometimes, the political simply doesn’t work. Sometimes, teaching a person does nothing for that person, and we waste our time. But imagine how a person would react differently if, seeing that person acting in sexist or misogynistic ways, we confront them with verbal violence. If need be, we can also confront them with physical violence – that is, breaking a beer bottle over a guy’s head if he gets grabby, touchy or misogynistic at a party or any other social scenes. 

Too often, we’ve played by the rules as feminists. For us, even in the third wave, peace and love have played a more important role in our activism than anything else. Imagine what would happen if we spoke out against misogyny? The guy who’s touching you too much at the bar? What if you made a scene? Would he continue doing it, or would he actually stop due to embarrassment? What if we all stood up and spoke out against this sort of thing? What if we became the violent ones?  

Sexism is based on the power of control. To fight it, we must seize the power and take back the control. As for now, we know women don’t often feel safe walking the street at night. What if sexists and misogynists all the sudden became the prey rather than the predator? What if rather than being victims, women (and feminists of both genders) start being more violent? We then fight fear with fear. The misogynists and sexists who walk down the street have to be afraid and look over their shoulders for the big, bad feminists.  It’s a Robin Hood kind of attitude, and one that creates a sort of poetic justice. But it works, doesn’t it? Did Lorraina Bobbit’s husband commit anymore acts of abuse? Absolutely not.
 

Sometimes, talking to a person isn’t the answer. In a society that’s based on power and violence, the only way we can solve the problems sometimes is to give someone a swift kick in the ass. This all gives a whole meaning to the compliment I’d like to give my feminist allies, “You are a kick-ass feminist.”Thoughts?



The reason I am a feminist.

At feminist conferences or during the first few days of the new semester, often times I’d get the inevitable question of: “You’re a man, why do you care so much about women’s rights?”Often times, because I am at these events to network, exchange ideas and build for a political future, my answer is always something like: “Because it would be a profound and utter act of immorality for me to idly stand by as half of my fellow human population is being discriminated against.”When speaking to a woman of interest, the story of my passion for feminism is one that is based on my religious background: I grew up a Unitarian, and we didn’t know any differently.  

But just last night, I realized the very reason why I am a feminist, and I will, for as long as I live, devote my life to fighting for women’s rights. Coming home at around midnight, I heard yelling and screaming and two burley men in suits and ties wrestling down a man, and pointing guns at the apartment downstairs from me. It turned out the men were undercover police officers who staked out the area because they’d received a call of a suspicious person in our neighborhood, and had observed the intruder jump over the porch and break into my neighbor’s house. The undercovers yelled at me and told me to call my neighbor (a female) to get out of the house.

 When I made that phone call, she had already locked herself in her room and refused to open the door for the officers. It took some coaxing from my roommate for her to eventually open up. My neighbor, whom I’ll call Sue, is a single mother. When the intruder was trying to break in, the three-year-old child was sleeping on the couch and I was told that the intruder saw the child, too. Obviously, my neighbor is shaken. One of the reasons for this is we’d spoken a few days ago about how the screen door was taken down by the landlord, and when she raised the issue, she was told, “Look, if someone wants to rape you, a screen door isn’t going to help stop that.”

It upsets me. It upsets me that the landlord passes off her concerns about being raped as just a trivial matter, and that those who truly are concerns about women’s lives and experiences don’t have the means to change things.  It upsets me that the patriarchy still exists, and the ruling class has no knowledge or concerns for women issues. It upsets me even more that in America, in 2007, women are still having to worry about certain acts of violence directed toward them, just because they are women.

 It upsets me that women have to live in fear for their livelihood, and are treated differently simply because of the nature of their biology. More over, it upsets me that we still need feminism in 2007 here in the most powerful and supposedly progressive nation on earth.  

For me, feminism isn’t sexy. It’s not supposed to be a good time. It’s not supposed to be enjoyable. It should be fought with vigor and passion – the same passion that’s devoted to fighting terrorism. After all, sexism is a form of terrorism.

 As a pro-feminist male, my fight for feminism isn’t about earning the attention or affection of women. It’s not about getting laid for standing up to fight for women. For an aspiring politician, it shouldn’t be able earning votes or tapping into a certain group of voters.

I fight for feminism because the world isn’t fair. I fight for feminism because gender terrorism still exists. I fight for feminism because I know I wouldn’t like to be marginalized and harmed, objectified and trivialized, simply because of my gender. In short, I fight for feminism because of this reason: because I believe while we were all born very differently, some with more strengths and intelligence than others, we should all we treated the same. We may not have been born equal and into the same situation, but we all should be recognized equally, based on our individual worth and dignity, and not on the body parts nature has given us.  



It’s just sex …

Reading one of the Campus Progress web logs this morning, I ran across an interesting statistic – that just about or more than 50 percent of college students are “still virgins.” My question: why do we care? Why is it that, as a society, we treat losing one’s virginity as sort of a rite of passage in which a new person is born and the old, less mature person is gone? It’s to say, as if, a person’s accomplishment in life is based on whether or not that person has engaged in sex. With rite-of-passage teen movies like “American Pie” being a part of the popular culture, it seems the message we’re sending teens is: your worth and dignity is based on whether you’ve “done it.” Yet, they also get messages from the Christian-right about remain “pure” and “untouched” until marriage. The result is a clash of culture, in which, on one hand, the message is about the importance of having sex. On the other hand, the message is about “saving” oneself until marriage. What’s a kid to do, really, in that situation? If virginity is so special, how come the majority of us aren’t even in touch with the person to whom we “lost” it? The truth is when it comes to virginity, there is nothing lost, and nothing gained.

Besides, what’s the exact definition of a virgin anyhow? One who’s pure in both thoughts and mind? One who’s never orgasmed? One who’s never had intercourse? One who’s had intercourse but never orgasm? Does oral sex count? What about priest sex? It’s all confusing, really — yet we’re still obsessed with the idea of virginity.

The fact of the matter is that there are more important things to worry about in one’s lifelong accomplishment than sex and “virginity.” We see movies like “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” but we don’t see movies like, “The 40-Year-Old Bum Who Hasn’t Done a Damned Thing to Make the World Better.”

Sometimes, I wonder why. Why can’t we just teach kids, from both the left and the right that sex is something amazing and wonderful that should only be had with responsibility, respect and readiness? Isn’t that a much better message than: if you aren’t having sex, you’re a loser or if you’re having sex, you’re a slut?

Wouldn’t it make the whole abstinence education debate much easier to digest? Wouldn’t it make birth control much more easily gotten? Wouldn’t it strike down patriarchy and society’s ideal of a family at its root? It certainly would. Just by changing our personal outlooks on virginity and sex, we can certainly make move the world in the right political direction.

Second point: why does society put such a strong emphasis on the act of sex? It is, after all, only sex. I don’t mean to sound like a frat boy here, but sex is just an act. It’s neither holy nor God’s gift. It’s neither divine nor special. It’s purely biological, just like any other activity that we engage in as humans. Sure, sex is certainly not making love, but it’s got a quality of its own. Just like going for a walk, having dinner or spending the afternoon with someone, sex is just an act. It only becomes special when the person with whom we are sharing it is special. Other than that, sex is just – sex. Why make things any complicated than life already is? To be sure, one should always be monogamous in a relationship, but let’s not treat sex anymore special than just a kiss. A kiss, after all, without any emotions put into it, is just a kiss.

 Kind of funny, too, how “virginity” never seems to be an issue discussed when it comes to the LGBT community. I guess to the right, “virginity” is only important when baby-making is involved.