America’s Next Bill Clinton!

So, I am a misogynist. Huh!

Friday night, I was out with a few friends and was totally blitzed. After last call, we wandered around to find food when we ran into a girl – also a college student – who had been left by her friends in the parking lot. She was drunk, not in a familiar neighborhood and didn’t have a cell phone.

She used a pay phone to call some other friends to pick her up. Her plan was to stay there until her friends came, although she wasn’t even sure if her friends got the message.

So I offered her a place to stay in my apartment. “Look, my roommate is gay, and I am a feminist. It makes no sense for you to stay here alone until someone comes to get you. It’s not safe.”

She called her friends back with my contact info, and followed us home …only to be picked up a few minutes later.

The next day, she called to thank me, and suggested that we go out for drinks.

A friend who was with me at the time of the incident looked at me and said, “Marc, I am onto you. You’re just like the rest of them, with the feminist cover. You’re a wolf in  sheep skin.”

I took that personally. As a pro-feminist male, I shouldn’t get a fucking cookie for being such, but I don’t like my integrity and convictions questioned, either — especially by my friend, who is quite the objectifyer of women.

Just because I offered a pretty girl a place to stay doesn’t mean I am trying to fuck her. I don’t need a girl to be drunk to earn her affection and attention. I don’t need to lie to a girl to get laid. I don’t need to take advantage of a situation to get a girl to jump my bone.

If I were accused of having hidden motives by women, I’d totally understand …when one group has been oppressed by other group for their entire lives, they have the right to be cynical of unlikely allies. But when another guy, who often sees women as nothing but potential fuck objects, questions my intentions, I have a problem with that.

Has anyone had similar experiences? Should I kick this guy in the head?

9 Comments so far
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People tend to project their own views and beliefs onto others. This guy seems to see only 1 reason to be nice to a girl– to get in her pants (that’s my assessment from your description). So to him, it only makes sense that you’d do the same– he wouldn’t help someone out of the kindness of his heart, so why would he expect you to do so innocently? Don’t take it personally. He’s just seeing your actions through his own motives.

Comment by Marcy

I guess your friend might just look upon it as another creative game plan. I understand you were trying to be nice but I was just surprised she bought the gay and feminist thing. I wouldn’t have even if I were sloshed and braved the parking lot or wherever I was stranded. If I were you I would have waited with her for her friends and sacrificed a few hours of sleep, lest my intentions be misconstrued.

Comment by vintagefan

I’m pretty much in full agreement with Marcy on this one, though I will say a bit more along the same lines.

Friends are valuable in lots of ways, and one way they can be valuable is that they call us on our BS from time to time–if your friend knows you well, believes, say, you have a history of being a wolf-in-sheep’s clothing or some such, he may want to point it out to you because you may be blind to it; you make be fooling yourself.

The situation you describe doesn’t sound like this, however–it sounds like your ‘friend’ projecting how he might go around in the world onto how you go around in the world.

How about offering to call her a cab, taking the cab ride with her, and then taking the cab back to your car? (Putting a very drunk person alone in a cab is a slight risk to the person–most cabbies are harmless, but a few aren’t.)

Comment by jeffliveshere


I totally see where you’re all going with this – especially Jeff. It’s much appreciated.

However, I must say — I was totally drunk, too – and although I still had my feminist values in tact, my intellectual and creative ways of solving problems weren’t all there.

Thus, “Hey, my roommate’s gay and I am a feminist. Just crash at our place,” instead of getting a cab. :0)

I’ll keep your suggestions in mind for next time.

Comment by profeministmale

It doesn’t read as just trying to get laid to me. Sometimes a person does things just because they’re the right thing to do.

Even if the two of you do have sex together at some later point, you know that’s not why you helped her that night.

Comment by RJ

That woman (if she was of legal drinking age, she wasn’t a “girl”) should not have gone home with you. And you should not have pressed her to. “My roommate’s gay and I’m a feminist” sounds like a big load of red-flag-raising B.S.
Why not just hang out there (with her permission, of course) while she waits to hear back from her friends? How about helping her get a cab? And if you were blitzed and she was drunk what’s the point of you each driving to your place in your respective cars? If she’s going to drive drunk anyway, she should just drive home.

Comment by snobographer

Snob, because I was fucking drunk, too – okay? The point is, I did what I thought was right at the time, and it didn’t turn out to be. But at least she wasn’t out there all alone in the cold.

Comment by ProFeministMale

No, you are just another pathetic mangina, a mamma’s boy who never grew any balls, trying to act like a cunt. You will never have the respect of men, and the feminists will hate you anyway. You’ve just becoma a mangina, a pathetic loser.



Comment by Bob

watching out for the drunk sluts huh? That actualy soundns like quite a good cunt catching techquine, i might give it a go!

Comment by Glenn

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