America’s Next Bill Clinton!

Don’t feel loved? It’s ’cause you’re desperate and a loser!
August 20, 2007, 1:18 pm
Filed under: Catholics, college, dating, desperate, Feminism, loser, love, relationships, Unitarians

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve sat back and observed, and now it’s time that I explode.

Help me understand here — I don’t get it: Why are some people so goddamned desperate to want to get into a relationship?

I constantly observe some of these people — adults, to be sure, who are constantly searching for someone with whom to be. For them, life is not fulfilled unless they are with somebody. They aren’t defined unless they are with someone. And most pathetically, they aren’t happy unless they are with someone.

They say that they want someone with whom to speak at the end of the day — someone to talk to …well, goddamn, get some friends! Besides, what makes you think you’re so interesting that whomever you’re with wants to hear about your day? That’s pathetic!

At the end of the day, I just want a beer and a cup of chili, not someone telling me shit I don’t give a shit about …

Every time they meet someone new and half decent, they immediate fall for that person. Then they ask the question of why they have no one.

I want to pull out my proverbial hair and tell them that they have no one because they are clingy, needy, without self-esteem and confidence. They remind me of the people who’ll be attracted to and have sex with just about anybody. The only difference is that those people can get some and these desperate losers can’t get any.

I am sorry, but if your life and well-being depends THAT much on being with another person, you’ve got issues.

These people, it seems, will settle for absolutely anything that comes along — whether it fits into the bigger picture or not. Then, they bitch and moan and whine about how the relationship didn’t work out.

Maybe it didn’t work out because you’re a loser and had nothing to offer! And despite of whatever law of physics you might have heard, the same attract. Thus, if you’re a loser, you’re going to date losers, and losers don’t make winners, thus the relationship is bound to fall apart.

I recently met a girl who’s been following me like a puppy dog despite my being an asshole to her. She asks me silly little questions, wants to do dinner, sends me stupid text messages and asks me what I think of love …

You know what I think — no — what I know of love? That I don’t love you!

Jesus Christ, I told the girl I only date Unitarians and atheists, and her little Catholic ass comes back with, “Well, but if it’s love, it can be worked out.”

Well, it’s NOT love. I don’t even fucking know you that well! You don’t know shit about politics or feminism and you’re a boring-ass math major. I have no interest in you, all I did was ask you to sign a goddamn petition for me. Now go away!

Go away! Ugh! I wouldn’t have sex with you even if my two hands were chopped off.

Somebody get me a Red Bull. On second thoughts, I might not need it